Do not terrify your girlfriend for your own amusement

This video has taken on a life of its own on the internet in the past few days. There’s good reason for it, too because this is an example of possibly the most douchey thing I’ve seen a human being do for quite a while. Check it out:

I was a young bloke once. I too had ridiculous ideas that I wanted to live out. I drove too fast on the road, I did burnouts, I even lost my license for dangerous driving after I did a 200 metre burnout up and down my street in the middle of the night. Indeed, I was acting like a massive douche. It might be more accurate to say that I actually was a massive douche. At least I grew up a bit and realised the only place that you can do things like that even remotely safely is at a racetrack, so off I went and started participating in motorsport proper. The bloke driving in that video though, somehow managed to make a racetrack more dangerous than they already are!

It was a huge thrill for me to drive on the same track that I’d seen my heroes drive on and yet, even at my absolute most ridiculous I would never have been so out of touch with reality to think it a good idea to drive out onto a track during a live race, let alone in my girlfriend’s car. It is incomprehensible to do so with her in the car but to do it with her screaming her lungs out that she wants me to stop, I just can’t make sense of what could possibly make a person not recognise that right up there with looking down the barrel of a loaded gun.

This is how it looked from the spectators’ perspective:

Now, let me remind you what occasionally happens to fully prepared race cars complete with roll-cages and all the other safety devices in place:

And a few more examples:

Clearly, motorsport is very dangerous. No wonder this guy’s poor girlfriend was hysterical. She was being taken out onto a live racetrack against her will. The best case scenario would be that her, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s mates would be arrested immediately afterwards. Luckily, that’s what happened and it’s a shit-tonne better than her car being written off, or all four of them dying at the hands of some poor bloke who’s wasn’t expecting to have to navigate around a non-competitor driving significantly slower than the other cars.

We hear this poor lass repeatedly tell her boyfriend Jack to stop. She pleads with him to get off the track or to do anything to get her out of the situation he has imposed on her but Jack doesn’t give two shits about her desperate, teary begging, he just carries on being the massive douche that he is.

After the incident the race was stopped. I mean, of course it was bloody stopped. The really shitty thing is that each of the participants in the race had paid about £4000 each to take part in that race. Jack the mega-douch wasted the time, effort and money each of these people had poured into this race all for a minute or two of his own amusement while ensuring his girlfriend will have a story to tell her therapist for the rest of her days. What a fucking nimrod.

After Jack was taken into custody he appeared to have zero regrets. He actually told the police “hey, you only live once”. That’s true, you do only live once. The fact that all the drivers from the race are shaping up to unleash a class action lawsuit against Jack for the £4000 entry fee they each paid, which will total well over £100,000 means that Jack is likely to be paying that off for the rest of his one and only life, and all for a few minutes of revealing to the world just how much of a douchebag he really is.

Massive douche tips:

  • If you’re driving someone else’s car and they tell you to stop, you stop.
  • If you’re doing something that is making your girlfriend fear for her life and she says stop, you stop.
  • If you want to race with the big boys, pay the entry fee and leave your mates out of the car.
  • If you don’t want to be viewed as a complete moron by the majority of the world, don’t listen to that voice in your head that tells you to do stupid shit.

Jack, you’re a fucking idiot.

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