Do not spit at people

Don’t spit at people. Definitely don’t spit at people and try to walk away like you think you’re some kind of boss. Absolutely don’t spit at people, try to walk away like you’re some kind of boss and then fall into a big pool of vomit, or you’ll really come across as a massive douche. […]

Welfare

It’s wonderful to have love for your children and it’s very important to let your kids know how much you love them, but for the love of Christ, please don’t get a tattoo of your child on your face. There are many reasons not to do this. One reason is that your kid is going […]

Reduce your resemblance to apes

I mentioned in a previous post that there are major similarities between humans and other primates, like apes and chimps, when it comes to posturing before, during, and after getting into fights. When I stumbled onto the following video, I was quickly reminded of the comparison. http://youtu.be/tONRyyj2flo Dude, if you’re drunk in the middle of […]

Don’t grab a person’s phone

http://youtu.be/QYYRUQyfhLk If you’re willing to risk your life for attention on the internet, you are a massive douche. While someone you’ve just ‘pranked’ slips into a blind rage and pummels your skull until it shatters, do you really want your last words to be “It was a prank.”? Massive douche tip: Do unto others as […]

Do not terrify your girlfriend for your own amusement

This video has taken on a life of its own on the internet in the past few days. There’s good reason for it, too because this is an example of possibly the most douchey thing I’ve seen a human being do for quite a while. Check it out: http://youtu.be/kAPT72Mzt2c I was a young bloke once. […]

Do not bury people

So this woman flew from Southern France to Morocco to meet the guy she’d been flirting with online and all was going well until she passed out on the floor in this guy’s home. I guess she forgot to mention that she was diabetic and prone to collapse because admiral brain-free here freaked the fuck […]

Treat your friends like friends

I love a good practical joke but there’s been a trend on youtube in recent times to act like a massive douche to complete strangers, make fun of the strangers’ normal and natural response to an absurd and often frightening situation, and then try to make money by posting the video of the incident. Like […]

One way to absolutely certainly convince everyone you’re a massive douche is to become the prime minister of a modern first world country, deliver a budget that stomps on the poorest people in that country, and then smirk and wink as your citizens question you about the fact that they will no longer have the […]